Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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Why did the business man jump into a mud puddle? He didn't. He was brutally stabbed to death then thrown in a pigpen in an attempt to conceal the evidence.

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Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

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Paddy Englishmen, Paddy Irishmen and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. They realise that they all share a common name and make a casual joke about it.

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Q: Why do geese fly in a V? A: It's more aerodynamic.

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Nobody walks into a bar. So nothing happens.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

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what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

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How do Mexicans like their eggs? It's a matter of personal opinion, of course.

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Why are trees green? I have no idea

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What's worse than reading the same joke multiple times? Having cancer.

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How many Jews foes it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1...like... I'm confused that you... I mean screwing in a lightbulb isn't that hard.

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What's black when its clean and white when its dirty? A black guy that rolls in flour.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no? sense Microwave

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I've just been struck by an enormous bolt of lightning. I am covered in boils and my house is full of frogs. I strongly recommend that when referring to God, always use the upper case 'H' on all personal pronouns.

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Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

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how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red

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What's a black mans favorite thing to do Depends on that particular mans likes and interests

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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What do Hitler and Jesus have in common? Facial hair.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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They say "You are what you eat." In that case, I'm a pussy.

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A black guy and a mexican get into a car Who is driving? Whoever takes a seat in the drivers side of the car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops