An artist walks into a bar and orders a rum and ckoe. The bartender reads the first sentence and realizes the artist is dyslexic and fixes him a rum and coke.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red Violets are red Jimmy is red Sally is red Susie is red Jimmy is red Billy is red Carl is red Jose is red Jerry is red Ferdinand is red Everyone is red Because they all just got shot In the head And now they're dead

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A black person went into a store and paid full price for his tv

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is dead. What's worse that that? It's eating it's way out. What's worse than that? It made it. What's worse than that? It went back in for 2nd's.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mama's so fat, that it's ruined her self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Chuck Norris can speak Japanese. Believe it or not he is actually multilingual, he speaks Spanish and French as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

''Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.''

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hey

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats worse then getting AIDS Math class

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what is the worst thing a priest could do to a little boy? brutally murder him

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Santa call the prostitute? Nothing. Santa isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many babies does it take to paint a barn red It depends how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats's the similarities between an apple and a cat? They both have legs except for the apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops