Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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What do you call a man with no arm or legs lying in front of a door? Idk, but how did he get there, and where is his aid to help him get out of this situation?

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A scantily dressed woman is standing at an intersection. She is a prostitute.

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How do you know when you've ritten too many anti-jokes? When you answer your own question as a rhetorical device

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a young boy with no arms or legs log rolls himself outside where he gets struck by lightning

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what has hair and can fly? a human.. i lied about the flying.

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What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

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Who's the fastest kid in AA

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Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Where did the little boy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven drove two planes into the world trade center.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? It depends on their painting skills.

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Why did the black man get arrested? He sold cocaine.

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Why didn't the magician pull a rabbit from a hat? Despite his choice of occupation, magic tricks are rarely appropriate in hostage situations.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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There once was a man named bulagala moo moo boom chicka boom. Sometimes, when wipe the toilet tissue breaks and my fingers get all dirty. Good thing I have insurance!

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-What do you say to a woman with Two Black eyes?. -Are you really that dumb to leave the kitchen twice -Elder High School

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how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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