A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

thumb_up thumb_down +16

But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down +16

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did thomas make a big mess on the ground? Beacuse he fell of a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why a frog can fly? It has magic. Why a snake can fly? It ate the magic frog. Why a eagle can fly? It has wings.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar, he realizes he has no money and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a little kid goes as candle for halloween, 69 girls blew him teenage boy goes as candle for halloween, all he got was burned

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many fingers am i holding up? 4

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the black kid get for christmas? A wii with duel contollers and a 2 year insurance for it incase it gets robbed or damaged

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why wasnt the baby cute? -because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? He felt like crossing roads that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's red and smells like blue paint? red paint

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do airplanes and trees not have in common?? Bananas

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops