Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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Christanity One Womans Excuse of Not Having an Affair Got Totaly Out of Hand

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What's the difference between a dead dog lying in the middle of the street and a dead black man lying in the middle of the street? The physical differences you would commonly expect to be between a human being and a dog.

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Optimus Prime: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Shockwave: "Illogical. I have no face." Optimus Prime: "Then GIVE ME YOUR EYE!" *RIPP*

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? Ones a person and the others a bench.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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roses are red vilest are blue shes mine and if you take my place my fist will go in your face

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What did you the blonde death amuptee child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper.

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What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a PS3? Michael was a succesful dancer, singer-songwriter, musician, and philanthropist, whereas a PS3 is a games console.

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Eating food: Ugh disgusting! Taking a dump later: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Man, you are doing it wrong... Waterworld was a pretty dry movie, I mean when are they gonna start making movies with a bit of wet humor for a change? SERIOUSLY BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I AM NOT SERIOUS!

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus

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Knock Knock. (No answer) Knocker: " I guess the resident of this home isn't home at this hour."

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Why did the clam not like to share? The deep sea is a competitive environment, where survival of the fittest is prominent.

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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What is a quicker way to transfer money than electronic banking? Keeping it on one's person and getting mugged for it, or else handing it over in a mutual deal.

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What did the Muslim say to the American? Hi

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You can go out to eat without posting it on Facebook.

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Did you hear the joke about the butter? No.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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I once was an adventurer like you. But then I quit.

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Moral: Sure, your number is the one that ends with 853 right? Do not reply if I am right. Moral2: BECAUSE TOP COMMENT... AND SERIOUSLY, THAT NUMBER BETTER END WITH 69 AFTER I CALL YOU! DO NOT REPLY

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What's worse than the holocaust? An open-minded black man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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