Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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A Jew and a German meet by chance in a bar. They exchange pleasantries and order drinks. At the end of the evening they leave, having made a friend.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she couldn't afford one.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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rose are red violets should be purple

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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How do you kill a blonde? There are a variety of methods, but I prefer a fine mix of insecure clowns and pepto-bismol.

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what is Rebecca black's favorite restaurant? Ruby Tuesdays

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Getting up, the 2nd hardest thing in the morning.

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Why can't sluts count to 70? Well, slut is a derogative term for prostitutes, and most prostitutes are people that had rough, often traumatising childhoods. Many ran away from home at an early age, thus leaving them devoid of a proper education.

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what do u get when you cross a monkey, a sock and wheels? A: a sock monkey. I was kidding about the wheels

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Why did the blonde go to law school? She was sick of people assuming that she was not an intelligent woman due to negative sterotypes about her gender and hair color and set out to prove said people wrong.

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What's funnier than 24? NOTHING!!!

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What happens if you go one louder? Nothing because you can't

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What would happen if you insulted Chuck Norris' mother? Considering you did it on a messageboard that only unemployed people with no social lives use, nothing.

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What did the guy say before he learned how to Dougie? Teach me how to Dougie

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms

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What does an Irishman say to you in the morning? Nothing because you only speak French.

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Yo mamas so fat,you know wht, i think she might die !!

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Q. What did the mockingbird say to the blue jay? A. I mock you by mocking you

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25

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The name "Hunter Barksdale".

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley, I live next door.

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Did you know that if you write "Beatles" on a piece of paper, chop it up, put it in some cabbage soup, eat the soup, poop it out in a cup, and put the paper back together, it spells "Ringo <3 Arby's"?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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