Two scientists walk into a bar, the pair walk up to the counter and the first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have some H2O too." 10 minutes later, the second scientist dies.

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What lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japanese People

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A Jew and a German meet by chance in a bar. They exchange pleasantries and order drinks. At the end of the evening they leave, having made a friend.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she couldn't afford one.

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Chuck noris is so awesome that he brings a knife to a gun-fight, and wins

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How do you kill a blonde? There are a variety of methods, but I prefer a fine mix of insecure clowns and pepto-bismol.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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i'm filthy rich literally because money is dirty

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What's bigger than China and Smaller than my penis? Russia and a smaller penis.

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q ggggggggggggggggg

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rose are red violets should be purple

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What do you call a green blur in the sky? Super pickle?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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Knock knock whose there nobody you have no friends remember

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Ayy mon, come smoke dis weed wit ma

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the person who wrote 1 under me is gay

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What happen when Sarah made but her nose in other people's business? Her vagina got set on fire by cole and derrek shoved your head up his ass!

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Why did the girl kill herself? she was depressed.

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Knock knock "Who's there?" Blood on the Dance Floor "Ha!"

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Q:What do you call a sheep with no legs? A: A cloud.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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