Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I am a dog.

Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

Q: What's so special about my Ferrari? A: It was painted with babies

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

Just happy you are back Nero, I have no idea what a proxy is but I am at my mum`s place, is everything alright between us now?

Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

they told me not to write here but i did

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

A chinese man walks into a kitten store. He is a nice man in search of a companion.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

What do you put your key on? A key chain.

why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

What do you do if you work in subway? we make the subs put meat on it then put salad on then cut it then wrap it other duites involved but cba to exsplain

What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

Q: How did the robber steal a laptop from best buy? A: With his hands

What did the african get for his birthday? an ounce of water, as water is very scares in his community and it is a great resource

Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? Vegeta got rid of the scouter because a monocle built for displaying a person's physical abilities in numbers is extremely farfetched and he didn't want to be a part of a super race of supreme beings that still relied on such ridiculous antics

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

What's the differences between oranges? Trees don't have doors.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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