Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? A: Because she was dead.

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

A piece of wood walks into a bonfire. Wood can't walk.

How do you kill a politician? You set him on fire and stab him in the back 20 times.

Why did the house burn down? Obama

A Hispanic, Jew and black man walk into a bar. The bartender tells them to get out because he's closed.

What is big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? Donald Trump

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar and the bartender says, " OH MY GOD! YOU CAN WALK?!?!"

What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

Hello! I am Harry Potter, and i will be teaching you pottery today! Yes, call me Mr. Pottery!

How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You can't, because there aint any.

Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" Of course not.

Yo mama's so fat that when she goes into a clothing store, she often feels self-conscious about having to buy larger than average clothing sizes than most people.

what is orange? an orange

how do you poke a chinese person in the eye? with a credit card!

"My grandmother has AIDS. They are really nice ladies." -joke by comedian Daniel Cupps

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Max

try this on someone: Knock Knock Who's there? Knock Knock Who's There? Knock Knock They will keep asking who's there while you laugh

=3

Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

whats the diffrence between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

What's grey and can't swim? A castle.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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