A Jew walks into an expensive Hotel and orders 500 dollars worth of wine.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is green and has wheels? A blue car.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock Who's There Seventeen Thirty Eight I'm like hey what's up hello Seen yo pretty ass soon as you came in that door I just wanna chill, got a sack for us to roll Married to the money, introduced her to my stove Showed her how to whip it, now she remixin' for low She my trap queen, let her hit the bando We be countin' up, watch how far them bands go We just set a goal, talkin' matchin' Lambos Got 56 a gram, prob' a 100 grams though Man, I swear I love her how she work the damn pole Hit the strip club, we be letting bands go Everybody hating, we just call them fans though In love with the money, I ain't never letting go And I get high with my baby (baby) I just left the mall, I'm getting fly with my baby, yeah

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why does mcguigan get made fun of ? Because he is gay with Jack Walsh

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Once upon a time, there was an ugly duckling. All the other ducklings made fun of the ugly duckling for being so ugly, and the little duckling felt bad. "Why do I have to be such an ugly duckling?," he asked. However one day, the duckling grew up and became........well, an ugly duck. Turns out he was just an ugly duck. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because it thought that it would somehow increase its chances of survival.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The awkward moment when something of quite awkwardness occurs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why did the man have aids? A: He had unprotected sex with a man who had aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you kill a blonde? Tell her she can breath underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes......

thumb_up thumb_down +6

i got 99 problems.... and aids is one

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats worse than someone blowing out all your birthday candles? a piano dropping on your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are gray, violets are gray. I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are Red Violets are blue I have short term memory loss Hey look thats my bike over there.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops