What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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What do you call a man covered in bees? Nothing, you'll startle the bees!

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What did the alcoholic say to the blind man? Nothing. But he beat his wife and kids savagely.

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Whats more ugly then seeing a raccoon and a frog f*cking Your mom

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Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? A: A Problem. Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon? A: An even bigger problem. Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon? A: Problem solved hahaha Q: What would you get if Newcastle were relegated? A: 45,000 more Chelsea fans

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

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Why didn't the boy eat chocolate yesterday Because he was allergic.

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No pen- no notes No notes- no study No study- no good grades No good grades- no diploma No diploma- no job No job- no money No money- no food No food- really skinny Really skinny- ugly Ugly- no wife No wife- no kids No kids- lonely Lonely- death No pen=death

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How many Jews can you fit in a Car? 2 in the front seat 3 in the back seat 5 in the trunk and a couple thousand in the Ashtray -WSS Gaming

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Who is worse than Adolf Hitler? Lebron James

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What happened when Suzy fell off the swing? She hurt herself.

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What do you call a vehicle has 56 wheels? Anything you want, because it hasn't been invented yet.

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there's a bus full of black people what do you call the white bus driver? coach.

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved

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What do you call two black men screaming as loud as they can? Scared

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have PTSD. Time to kill myself.

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Hey do you know who is in the yard? Not the boys, they all died in a horrific fire last Christmas.

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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Why couldn't timmy brush his hair? He had leukaemia

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why did the black man rape the little girl? no reason, its just a part of life. oh well

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What do you call a blond reading a book? A blond reading a book.

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-what does burglars afraid of? -cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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