What did the deaf guy get for Christmas? An iTunes gift card

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Three men walk into a bar. Something happens not at relating to them.

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The chicks at the bar last night were do hot. The girls weren't half bad either

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A blonde walked into a bank. She deposited her check, thanked the teller, and promptly left.

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There were two chippendales in a bar - what were their nicknames? Chip and Dale

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"Do you know the joke No me neither?" "No..." "Me neither..."

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Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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German bedtime story: There once was a boy who liked to suck his thumbs. His mother told him to stop, but he wouldn't. So she cut of his thumbs. Now he has none. Goodnight.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven threatened six's family after insinuations of seven being a cannibal.

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

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What has four legs but can't walk? A tranquilized bear

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Q. Why did the squirrel cross the road? A. Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Knock knock? Who's there? John. John who? John who is hospitalized in critical condition because he was struck by a ladder.

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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Why did the man punch NUGE in the face? Because he got angry that NUGE was being such a BA person and he was jealous of NUGE'S style and he just got dumped by his ugly as poop mom which was eating Anti Chicken.

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Future last words Guess who edition: "This new prototype Ferrari XZ handles like a God even at full speed!...Well, if God had no brakes and his turning ability suddenly disappeared when going at over 300 kilometers per hour that is..." "Uh oh now! Another heart attack! Where is mah medical weed? SHAAAAAROOOOOOON!" "Please haters, lower your guns, I will stop singing! Beliebe me!" Moral: "OMG I AM ONLY THE SIXTH MOST USELESS THING NOW!" "MY BODY IS NOT READY! Urgh mah chest... CHAROOOOOOON!

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Three nudists, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. No one finds it particuarly odd because the three are conscientious and wear appropriate clothing in public places.

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A lonely man walks into a Self-Esteem class. He sits alone in the back because of his low self-esteem. Forever alone.

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Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

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Why did the heroin addict get staff infection? His skin broke open multiple times without proper cleansing.

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Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

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What starts with a 's' and ends in 'ex'? Sex -XH

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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