A frog walks into a bar and the bartender thinks he is very well evolved because frogs don't walk they hop

I once met with Mahatma Gandhi and he said to me "Child, why do I walk this earth?.. What is the meaning of my living?.. Why am I alive?" and I bowed in respect of his wisdom and said "I don't know. Why do you?" and he said "I don't I'm dead."

Q: whats white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you A:a fridge

Why did the bear eat the asian? It was hungry

How many armless people does it take to change a lightbulb? I dunno, that's why I asked you... Hello?

"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

When life gives you lemons, you make grape juice and let the world wonder how you made it.

Whats cold and can't climb trees? Refrigerator

What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

Why do black people eat Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because there is Protein in chicken and without protein their bodies would succumb to such diseases as Kwashiorkor and Cachexia.

What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

Why did the chicken croos the road? He was battling severe depression at the time. His alcoholism was tearing his family apart, he was declining in job performance and his boss threatened to fire him several times. I guess at that point he just decided to end it all. It was horribly tragic, policemen knocking on the door of his wife's chicken roost and informing her of the bad news. As soon as she heard, she rushed to the scene, only to see his mangled body spread across the street, intestines falling out. They held a closed casket funeral. Formal, all black. It was raining by the time the casket was brought to the cemetery to be buried. She hasn't stopped crying since. His children ask her, where's dad, but all she can do is weep. Suicide is bad, kids

Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

What is a jew in space? Dead

roses are red violets are blue .no one cares about you, your a jew.

An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

Why did the little boy fall of his bike? He was dead.

This dog can only sniff marijuana.

What really killed Adolf Hitler? The gas bill

Q: What do you call a blonde that just bought a new car? A: Carol

What did Sally get for Christmas? Who's Sally?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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