What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was Samuel L. Jackson so tired of those motherf***ing snakes on that motherf***ing plane? Because if snakes are loose on a plane, they might bite you.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the British horse say to the man who owned him? nothing all he sad was neigh.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many nipples are on a raccoon ? I don't raccoono

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" Someone who needs to consider not saying "Knock Knock" every time they are about to enter a building.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mothers so dumb that when she had to take a math test, she received a significantly lower grade than the rest of her classmates.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A homosexual and a heterosexual bump into each other on the street. But its okay, because although they both lead very different lifestyles, they are open minded enough to respect each others choices and both apologize and keep walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken kill himself To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than getting in a car accident? Being turned into dust and swarmed by bees while on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Call of Duty is a good game.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you do when your girlfriend gives you head while playing MW3? continue to play while politely asking her sister to make you a sandwhich

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man and his dog walk into the park, the man grabs a ball and chucks it for the dog. The dog can not chase after the ball because he has no legs and bites his owners leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Ryan Maharaj is INDIAN!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because that's where a box of everything you own is

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red. Violets are purple

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a blond makes out with ron every sunday and she stops every time to remember that she put the cheese in the wrong compartment brick house cheese is sad!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy fall of of his bicycle? He was hit by an asteroid.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops