There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

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How do you get a black man down from a tree? If the man cannot climb down himself, perhaps call the fire department.

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America. A land where if a girl sexual harrasses a guy would be a good thing.

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One day... Jack: Good morning Ben: Good morning The End.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple ? Finding out your apple is rotten on top of that.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

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boobs!

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas. Nothing. He was Jewish.

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A man walks in to a bar. Ouch.

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A duck walks in wal-mart and buys stuff. The cashier ask how hes going to pay and the duck said just put it on my bill.

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How do chinese families name their children I belive it would be child because chinese families are only allowed 1 child

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What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby? 10 minutes in the microwave.

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What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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Yo mama so fat she has to wear large clothes

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Doctor! I have no problems at all! So, uh why are you here? Isnt that freaking weird? Wow, that might be a problem! Puh! I have a problem then. Yeah, goodbye!

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What do you get when you fall in love? A guy with a pin to burst your bubble.

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Roses are red. Violets are purple

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Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

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Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

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What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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Judge: Why did you hit your wife with a hockey stick, Mr. Johnson? Mr. Johnson: My father and mother were mutually abusive when I grew up. As you may have guessed, this gave me a skewed view of the dynamics between husband and wife, as well as causing me to hide my emotions from myself as a defense mechanism. As a sociopath, I feel no remorse for this occurrence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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