Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: how do you catch a bear? A: you dig a hole, fill the hole with ashes, surround the hole with peas, and when the bear comes to take a pea kick him in the ash hole

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Cole and his brother josh tag team jaycie until she cries herself to sleep while Sarah watches

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jimmy is at a movie ? He's with a gay boy

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you get rid of black elephants? Arrest it for being black.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

True or False : it would not cause a public disturbence to express your pornography to the public??? ture. pornography is the freedom of speech and ability to express oneself

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I have CDO it's like OCD but in the right order

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't the child go to the park? He was a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man goes to a petting zoo. He sees a zookeeper wrestling a bear. The bear kills the zookeeper and escapes from it's cage. It promptly mauls the rest of the staff and visitors at the zoo until it is shot by local police.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what is red white and blue? the french flag

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There is a famous joke, "What's black and white and re(a)d all over? A newspaper!" However, this is not featured on this website. Why? Because this is anti-joke.com, not joke.com - you moron

thumb_up thumb_down +8

two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats sad about a ton of blacks in a limo going off a cliff. they'll destroy the car

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is more disappointed the Lake Disappointment? You

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Tilt your screen back

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

One day a there was a guy walking down the street. If you thought this was a joke, you're wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What starts with E and ends with lephant? Not giraffe

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why don't men have menstruation? -Because it sucks

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the 11 year old boy stick his hand in a lawnmower nobody knows he hasnt come out of the coma yet

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than a pile of dead babies A live one eating its way out!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops