Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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How do you fit an elephant into a car? You can't. Unless it's a baby elephant. You would probably also need a convertible with the top down.

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what do call a girl with a waterslide nose? Ava Sherman

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If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

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A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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What do you call a rich black person? A: Oprah

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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One day a mexican guy came up with a great anti-joke about jewish guys. Upon sharing it with a canadian buddy of his, he collapsed and died from a cerebral hemorrhage where he was then hit by a bus and mauled to bits by a pack of saber-tooth tigers.

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

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What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

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What do you get when you mix hydrochloric acid and a humans digestive track? Death.

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Your mom is so fat, that your gonna get a brother soon.

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They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

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Why was a white man surrounded by black men crying? He was in a support group for black men with vitiligo, which destroys skin pigments.

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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How did Goku save his home planet? He didn't.

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what has hair and can fly? a human.. i lied about the flying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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