how do you know if an asian gang has been to your house? 1. your computer is unplugged 2. your homework is finished 3. they are still trying to back out of the driveway

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One game a Packers Player scored a touchdown and jumped into the stands. When everybody was touching him one girl put her hand on the inside of his thigh. He told the girl " If your hand goes a little higher you'll feel my touchdown spike."

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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Q: What's so special about my Ferrari? A: It was painted with babies

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette have a contest to see who can get the most likes on their profile pictures. They are all attention-whores.

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What do you call a black man that works with out pay? A volunteer

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what do u call a lesbian with long hair? a long haired lesbian.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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i went to the bar. soon after i entered the bar i got kicked out. why? becuase i'm seventeen.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

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What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

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How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

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Why did the little girl go to the hospital?........................Beacuse she fell when trying to steal cookies out of the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

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Roses are red Violets are red My lawn is red My fences are red It appears my garden is on fire.

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"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and legs under a bus an ambulance, he's obviously in pain

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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