Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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what do u call a lesbian with long hair? a long haired lesbian.

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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Roses are red Violets are red My lawn is red My fences are red It appears my garden is on fire.

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How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

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Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

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Why did the little girl go to the hospital?........................Beacuse she fell when trying to steal cookies out of the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

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What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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-Knock knock -Use the doorbell -Oh... ding dong -Who is it? -Me -Oh -Yeah -Cool -Come in -Okay -Take off your shoes -Alright -How are you? -Good -That's good -Yeah -Okay -K -Oh -Bye -See ya

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Why did John break down in tears? Because he was molested as a child.

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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What did the boy say 9+9 was? The Holocaust

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knock knock Dave's not here.

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Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9 8 7

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What did the boy call the man that kicked the cat? "Sad twat"

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Why did the boy yawn? Because he was tired.

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Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What do you call a women with 2 black eyes? Hopefully nothing because abuse is something that shouldn't be messed with and it is wrong.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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