A Muslim walked into a bar. He didn't drink anything

thumb_up thumb_down -47

How do you make someone stop talking? Shove a rock down their throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

I like to rape children, then kill them, eat them and defecate them into a toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -49

your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What do you call 2 lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders

thumb_up thumb_down -51

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q: How do you confuse a blonde. A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to pee in the corner. Q: How does a blonde confuse you? A: She says she's done.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A blindman walks into a bar... then a chair, then a pole

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A hat fell into the Indian Ocean. What happened to the hat? It got wet

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm random but can still rhyme Hatsune Miku

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a lot of goose in one place? geese

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Charlie Sheen Walks Into a Rehab Center.....

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

thumb_up thumb_down +30

minorities

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops