A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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A black man walks in to a 7 Eleven with a gun in his left pocket. He innocently walks over to the place where they keep all the hostess treats, and decides to purchase a pack of crumb donuts. The gun was purely for self defense, it was a bad neighborhood.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Thats a matter of opinion

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Little Stephanie was up all night on Christmas eve excited for her new bike that Santa was going to bring her. After tossing and turning for what seemed like decades, the sunset finally arose and Stephanie ran down the steps to unwrap her new bike with the family. Immediately after she went down the staircase, she found her parents marinated in their own blood, with knife wounds all around their body.

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A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

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When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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A man walks into a bar and gets drink

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why did the Chinese guy take steroids? He didn't he's naturally small.

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Two trees sit in a dark forest. Between them is a small hare. The wind blows hard and rustles the trees. The hare then looks up, and then forward. He hops away.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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Roses are red Violets are blue You don't want to be my valintine I'm going to shoot myself.

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Knock Knock Knockin on heavens door..

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What's red and black and looks good on a Jew? A bullet wound.

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What's hanging by a rope from the tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

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A guy walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because he is only 19 years old.

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knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

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heat!

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What do u call a man who is smart. A lawyer/ genius/ smart man

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How do you attach a nipple tassle to a purple honey badger? Refridgerator

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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what did the bartender say to the customer? a. is it the first option b. is it the second option c. is it the third option.

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How do they call a black man that works in a mine. Miner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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