There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's black and red and on the ground? A dead black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock, knock ... ... ... Well I guess no one is home.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a moving tree? A hurricane killing thousands of people and 3 dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Nothing if you heard a loud sound or something that was me dropping the phone, by accident, its busted, I will call you when and if all of your "facts" turn out to be true, Hey, had no idea my doppelganger would be so down to earth by the way, so I am sleepy, what about you?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did Bernard have a bold because I ripped his Mohawk

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Meh, I dont want it anymore! You take it!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How did the black guy survive the bus crash? At the time of the bus crash, it was a segregated community, therefore no black people were allowed on buses.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why were black people mad about slavery? Because they didn't get paid in gum! Holt9 ;P

thumb_up thumb_down -19

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Don't turn around when you're talking to me. Why? You will walk off of that cliff

thumb_up thumb_down -21

a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Do you want to hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Im gay What about you

thumb_up thumb_down -21

im @ work, LOL.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

We can never ask enough hypothetical questions, can we? Well?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

When life throws you lemons, you probably have dyslexia

thumb_up thumb_down -21

An indian boy asked his Dad,'Why do we have such long names?' His father didn't reply, he died on the road home.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops