Knock knock. Why do you say the words "knock knock" without actually knocking on the door?

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Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

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how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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An eagle and a mouse sat on a tree branch, watching a farmer walk to the pasture to milk his cows. The eagle then turned to the mouse but said nothing, because eagles cannot speak. The eagle then ate the mouse because it was a bird of prey.

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"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

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What colour are blackberries? Purple.

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A Jewish man walkes into grocery store. He buys some groceries, and leaves.

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Q.what did god say when he made the first black person? A.oh shit i burnt it.

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Whats Yellow And Cant Swim A Bulldozer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its 2 in the morning Go the f+%& to sleep.

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Penis chickens

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What happens when you agree to disagree? You extend the duration of the argument.

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

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Q: How could the black man afford to buy a TV? A: He had a well-paying job and a supporting family.

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Q: What would George Washinton do if he was alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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There once was a man called steve, His name was steve

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Me: Hey mom Mom: Hey Son Me: Whats? for dinner? Mom: I dont know

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What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

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What happened when the paraplegic man went into the bar? Nothing the man couldnt get into the bar because the bar has no wheelchair ramp.

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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