What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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whats worse than forgetting your lunch at home? getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

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John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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A man and his wife are sitting on the couch in their house, watching tv. The man says, "Do you smell smoke?" The woman then replies, "No." They then proceed to watch more tv.

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Religion.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A terrorist. What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. What are you racist or something?

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How do you make an anti-joke? Like this....

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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Everybody love food when they are hungry

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3 Blondes walk into a bar. One ducks, the other two are hospitalized with mild concussions

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Jesus can walko water Humans are 70% water I can walk on humans Therefore i am 70% Jesus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops