Judge: Why did you hit your wife with a hockey stick, Mr. Johnson? Mr. Johnson: My father and mother were mutually abusive when I grew up. As you may have guessed, this gave me a skewed view of the dynamics between husband and wife, as well as causing me to hide my emotions from myself as a defense mechanism. As a sociopath, I feel no remorse for this occurrence.

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What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

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Where did the drunk Mother drive? Back to the Bar because she forgot her Baby.. Except she left it left it on the roof of the car...

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She compiled and saw the error of her ways.

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How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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This is not a joke.... It is mind rape.

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What do you get when you combine a baby and a chainsaw? 30 years to to life in prison.

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MILLERS FUNNY LIKE A JEW

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he had poor coordination.

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What's Arabs' cutlery? Bread

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(Played Basketball for 15 years) I TOLD YOU I'D QUIT WHEN LeBron Gets A RING

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal

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Why was the napkin wet? Some water was on it

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How do you get someone to come out of the closet? Unlock it

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Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

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What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

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I have an idea! You leave.

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What's funnier than throwing a baby off a bridge? Everything, if you think that's funny, you're a terrible person.

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You know whats funny? Matty Broom.

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Why won't lance Armstrong survive 2012 Because he has cancer

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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What did the black man get his mom for Mother's Day? Some jewelry and a very nice card.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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