Why did the gorilla have big nostrils? Because it was a trait passed on to him from his biological father.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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A blind Man walks into a Bar. A young man quickly runs over to him and helps him up.

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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Q: What do people usually find funny? A: A joke.

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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What's the most confusing day in the ghetto? Fathers day.

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A blonde a brunette and a ginger jump off a cliff they die upon impact and their families mourn for years to come.

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How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

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A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

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Sonny Bono walked into a bar. No, wait, he crashed into a tree.

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your momma is so fat that she should be worried about her higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, and ugliness.

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How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

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i have a christmas tree.

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What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

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You know what's really long? The bread lines in Africa

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Why is the moon gray? Why is it not?

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what did the cripple, the cancer guy, the blonde, and the blackguy have in common they all have no reason to live

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What's long and really hard? The fourth grade.

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There is a blonde a Burnett and a red head. Life goes on.

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Aiming with a revolver? That`s fucking overrated. with a heavy powerful revolver such as this one, you do not necessarily need to aim that well at the heart of your enemy in order to blow his brains out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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