guess what I'm going to Spain on my holidays

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My left foot has 6 toes, my right face has 8 Q-tips -Matt

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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What do you get when you cross a rusty nail and a foot? Tetanus

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What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

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What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

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What to hear an anti-joke? No.

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Your mum is so fat, she is likely to do die before my mum.

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Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

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What happens when your school teacher gives you homework over the break? You give your teacher homework too!

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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John said: "This roller coaster makes me green." HIs mother replied: "That's because you have leprosy."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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Your momma is so stupid your momma forgot that jesus did exist and has been proven by historians to have existed

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What did the man say before he killed himself? I am going to kill myself

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Sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

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Why don't nuns wear bras? Because god supports everything!

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We can never ask enough hypothetical questions, can we? Well?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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PENIS

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What did the players of the all black NBA team say to the white rookie? "Congratulations for making it to the NBA! Your hard work and dedication has certainly paid off."

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops