Two goldfish are swimming in the ocean. One says to another, "I don't think we will be able to survive in this salty environment".

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

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What's the cure of cancer? Death.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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What's so great about twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

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How do you kill a blonde? Throw a fridge at her

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Knock Knock. Who's There. Teenage Pregnancy

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knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

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What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

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Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

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So a blonde walks into a wall...

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Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

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Doctor, Doctor I think your gay. thats because i am

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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bangers and mash?

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Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

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What do you get when you cross a muffin with chocolate chips? A chocolate chip muffin.

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Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M's factory? For throwing away all the W's

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If Miley Cyrus has the ability to come in like a wrecking ball, how come she can't twerk?

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What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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