Knock Knock The doors already open

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

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What did the woman say when she didn't finish her meal? Can I get a to go box

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why do gingers have no friends? They are non sentient stems that are simply not capable of interacting with intellectual humans

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Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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why was justin sad? his family was murdered

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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Three Jews get on a train to Stockholm. How many get off at Stockholm. None. The train went straight to Auschwitz.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

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Why did litltle Susie drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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how do you tell a politician that you hate him? politicians can be female, too.

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Q: What's your dog's name ? A: Dog. Q: What's your cat's name ? A: Cat. Q: What's your dick's name A: Pinky

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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A man walks into a bar, he now has a mild concussion

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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4 gay men walk into a bar,but there is only one stool..... What do they do? Turn it over

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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