Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

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Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

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An alphabet walks into the post office and asks for a letter. What does the postal worker give the alphabet? Nothing. Alphabets can't walk.

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What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

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A paralysed man falls over.

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"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

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what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? A dead bird

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I am blind.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

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A blonde walks into a bar a uses the restroom. She needed to pee.

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Q: Wy couldn't the T-rex grab the other Dinosor? A: Because he is extinct.

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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