A man, a woman, and a kid are sitting at a table. They are eating dinner, the kid turns to the man and proceeds to explain how he wishes to drop out of school. The man sends him to his room as punishment. The man and the woman resume eating their dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Steve say when his leg got chopped off? Nothing, he went into a state of shock before blacking out due to loss of blood. Later on, he died, and a week later, a funeral was held, in which nobody showed up, because nobody cared for Steve.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many armless people does it take to change a lightbulb? I dunno, that's why I asked you... Hello?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is orange and annoying? A purple potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Call of Duty is a good game.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

MATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

J.D. has 10 vaginas and 2 penis's

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy fall off the sky scraper. It was hit by an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the diffrence between a hockey puck, and an african child? They're both black, but usualy african children aren't round!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Whats worse than spilling milk? A: Cancer Q: Whats worse than cancer? A: Rebecca Black

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why do circles make such good friends? A: They don't. They're shapes and there cannot have friends

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? i don't know, he hasn't unwrapped it yet

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black man walks into a convienent store, pays for his stuff and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you get your dog to stop peeing on the floor? SHOOT IT!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between a black man and a couch? One is a human being and one is a piece of furniture.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Did you hear the one about the man who fell asleep on the job? He woke up.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do people call baby cats in Alabama? Kittens.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the difference between a black man dead in the middle of the road... and a deer dead in the middle of the road? One is a human and one is an animal

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why can't antelopes fly? Because they can't

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops