How do u make Michael Jackson cry Dead people can't cry you dumb bitch

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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knock knock who's there the german police now pack your stuff and get out

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whats the king of the forest, is the color brown and is red all over? A deer or someone's soon to be dinner.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.

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Autism... is not funny at all, it is a serious issue in today's day and age and must be addressed and cured

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Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS.

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What did the white guy say to the two black guys? I like oreos.

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That awkward moment when you have to tell your child you wanted an abortion, and still wish you had.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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My dad said that if I post anymore jokes on this website, the will hit my head against the keyboaaskdnaji;nsd;asdnasd;

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Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Roses are roses Violets are violets Sugar is sugar And you're a person

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Your dad is so hairy, that he shaves to look more cleanly.

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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what did lois call peter when she first saw him? i dont dont know do you?

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Why wouldn't Rose let go of Jack? Freddie told her that he was just a poor boy and nobody loves him.

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If you're American outside of the bathroom, then what are you inside the bathroom? An American inside of a bathroom.

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what did the bot get for his birthday? .. men!

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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