A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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How did the retarded, blind child win the Special Olympics? He didn't, he died of terminal lung cancer the year before. R.I.P.

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As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

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You know what happened when I kissed a girl? I enjoyed it so immensely that I received an erection.

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A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

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I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

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A: What did the orphan get for christmas? Q: Nothing she doesn't have any parents

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What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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Q: How do you break into your own house? A:You don't....thats ridiculous(:

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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How do you make an anti-joke? Like this....

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

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What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

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Why did sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He thanked the gracious african-descented donor, and with a little luck he just might see his beautiful wife and kids again

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Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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