What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

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Neither have I

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Why did the Armadyl godsword penetrated full Bandos? Because the AGS went up its tassets

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A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

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Q: How did the Irishman die? A: He was old.

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

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A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.

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So two cannibals are eating a clown. Cannibal one: Does this taste funny to you? Cannibal two: Considering that this man was a clown he must have been in poverty so he resulted to being an alcoholic and maybe over dosed on over the counter drugs. Cannibal one: Thank you for that reasonable answer.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was 12 years old. He is dad was rich from his business and so when it came time for his 12 year old boy to turn 13 he insisted on buying the boy whatever he wanted. He thought that the imagination of a 12 year old boy might in fact humour him, even if the cost of such a present reached the millions. He asked his son "Son, a very special day's coming up", his son smirked "I know Dad". "Well, what would you like?" asked the Dad. His son pondered for several seconds before replying, "honestly Dad, all I want it 12 Pink Ping Pong balls". The Dad, curious and a little disappointed asked "of course son, but why?". His son replied "I can;t say, I'd just like them for my birthday please". And so on his thirteenth birthday, he indeed received 12 Pink Ping Pong balls. His Dad thought nothing of it until next year, when he asked his son "what would you like for your birthday this year son? A new 82-inch Tv for you toilet, or how about a new jet?". His soon blew the hair out of his eyes and said, "Dad, all I want is room full of Pink Ping Pong balls". His dad again agreed but asked "why Pink Ping Pong balls son?". His son replied "I'll tell you when I get them". True to his word when the boy turned 14, he received a whole room full of Pink Ping Pong balls and his Dad asked him "now why did you want them son". But his son replied "I'll tell you next year". Rather reluctantly his Dad agreed. and then he died.

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she couldn't get a high paying job and had to settle for working full time at McDonalds, just to get your family through the week.

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What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

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why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Except when I said muffins I meant Jews. .. I guess it really isn't that funny anymore.

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Math Quiz! If sally was born on September 18th, 1997, how old will she be on her birthday? Leave your answers on her grave tomorrow.

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and so do you happy valentines day!

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from K.F.C

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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