What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

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Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

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knock knock whos there? IRS Oh....

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Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

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whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

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What happens when you mix a platinum blond with a black kid? A young african-american child with un-naturally died hair.

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

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How do you pick up girls in Auschwitz? With a dustpan

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guess what What? Apsolutly nothing

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An albino and a jew walk in to a bar. They both order the same drink and chat for a few minutes before the albino must get home to his wife. The jew leaves shortly after, tipping the bar tender a generous amount for his superb service.

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

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what does rain do? think of how happy its life was!

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Yo mama's so fat that she needs substantially larger clothes than most other people

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how many licks did it take the boy to get to the center of a tootsie pop? he died of cancer

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A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

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Why did the Mexicans climb the fence? When they were tossing frisbee and accidentally tossed it into their neighbors yard and they had to go get it.

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Why did the teacher ask her student about the test? Because she was in the hospital the day of the test because her husband was hit by a rail road spike and died but she was so devoted to her job she wanted to know.

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Why is it a shame if a kid gets run over by a car? I like the newspaper headlines about stabbings better.

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Wanna know how to confuse a black guy? Give him a fried chicken sandwich with mayo on it.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Presents

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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