Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says wow its hot in here the other muffin said HOLY SHIT ITS A TALKING MUFFIN

Why did h little boy drop his ice cream? Jerry Sandusky was behind him.

Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

a. johns friend said your a towel b. rick replied im obivously not a towel and walked away in discust at his friends stupidity.

What do you call somebody who votes for Donald Trump? A voter. What do you call somebody who votes for Hillary Clinton? A voter.

Why was the woman blind? Because she couldn't see

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm What is worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding chuck norris Whats worse than finding your girlfriend has a bigger Slong than you? Getting raped with a cheese grater. Whats worse than all of these? Being black Sadly im black :( -Jordan M

So a blonde walks into a wall...

What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

What can I say, besides, the media is fighting one another now, people do have more freedom, religion is losing the grip on people, and yeah the world may be a bit grim right now, but people have chosen their own direction in life, and that is going wherever the most corrupt ones in society tell them to. And that was never different, I am not saying that you are not doing a good job, I am saying that the underground society failed, we where idealists, then we where branded criminals, without a shred of proof, I have not lost myself, and you have not lost you, why save the rest from what they enjoy?

What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

kill yourself

Why did the arm-less Ben fall off the swing? Gravity

what did the white man call a black man that was awarded the job he applied for? He stated the man was a hard worker and deserved the job. Then he walked up to the man with a smile and congraduated him. Then he went home and commited suicide after he concluded he didnt deserve to live.

Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

Yo mamma's so fat, at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that if she did not attempt to control her weight gain through a careful moderation of her diet and began exercising on a regular basis, that her obesity would soon manifest itself in a variety of chronic health conditions that would permanently alter her ability to enjoy life and could significantly decrease her lifespan.

Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

why girl die cancer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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