Knock knock. Why do you say the words "knock knock" without actually knocking on the door?

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Me too.

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Rock a by baby, In a tree top When the wind blows The cradle will rock, When the bough breaks The cradle will fall And down will come baby Dying on impact.

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How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

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What did Hellen Keller say when she drove up to the stop sign? Nothing, she doesn't drive.

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Please give money to a local Jew we have had such a bad time please ONLY people who are Jews.

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Wh ydo i Hate you? 'COs Your a Gimp!

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When life gives you lemonade, give life lemons and it'll be like WTF?!

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70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

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why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

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I wanted to impress this girl by showing her that I was good in math. So I went up to her, and told that I knew that the value of pi is 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 117450284102701938521105559644622948954930381964428810975665933446128475648233 786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273724587006 606315588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360011330530548820466521384146 951941511609433057270365759591953092186117381932611793105118548074462379962749 567351885752724891227938183011949129833673362440656643086021394946395224737190 702179860943702770539217176293176752384674818467669405132000568127145263560827 785771342757789609173637178721468440901224953430146549585371050792279689258923 542019956112129021960864034418159813629774771309960518707211349999998372978049 951059731732816096318595024459455346908302642522308253344685035261931188171010 003137838752886587533208381420617177669147303598253490428755468731159562863882 353787593751957781857780532171226806613001927876611195909216420198938095257201 065485863278865936153381827968230301952035301852968995773622599413891249721775 283479131515574857242454150695950829533116861727855889075098381754637464939319 255060400927701671139009848824012858361603563707660104710181942955596198946767 837449448255379774726847104047534646208046684259069491293313677028989152104752 162056966024058038150193511253382430035587640247496473263914199272604269922796 782354781636009341721641219924586315030286182974555706749838505494588586926995 690927210797509302955321165344987202755960236480665499119881834797753566369807. She had a psychotic episode.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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if any1 wants contact with me, nina, call me on my cell at 879-555-0934 im looking for a short, chubby man with a hungering taste of mexican taste

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roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

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Hey, wanna here a dirty joke? A pig fell in mud.

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what do you do when mrs curaba gets heated through a fridge at her so she can cool down

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Yo mama's so skinny, she should probably go in for eating disorders' counseling.

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why are anti-jokes so funny? they aren't. they're stupid.

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A car walks into a bar.

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Julian Ha.

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Roses are red. Violets are violet.

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I gotta friend named Michael Nugyen and he dishonored his family. Did I mention he was asian ( he live in tampa fl )

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your mom is so ugly, when she throws a boomerang it doesn't come back

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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