If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

Q. what has one million arms and tells it to people A.a liar

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle

Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

why do black people like kool-aid? it's a tasty refreshment

"I know it. I can feel it in my nuggets." -Chicken Joe

have you seen Helen Keller's bird house? neither has she

A black guy walks into a resturaunt. he finishes his drink, graciously tips the bartender and leaves.

my mind's eye?

2 guys walk into a bar but the third one has known about what happens to the third guy but since he is reading this in a newspaper and his unaware of his surroundings he walks into the bar anyway and feels very foolish.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know chickens are absent minded creatures that can aimlessly walk around.

Ken wins!

I like cheese. You like cheese. Have a nice day.

A boy got a dog for his Birthday. The dog would have said happy Birthday but dogs can't speak.

Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

Q:Whats Brown and sticky? A:Maple Syrup

Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

what happened at the end of the korean marley and me? dinner

My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

What did the black man do in the Italian Pub? He gave a 20% tip and couldn't have been more courteous.

Stop screaming! The damn uppercase letters make my head hurt! Let a lady have it for once!

your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its instincts were telling it that the higher amount of grass on the other side of the road would lead to an increase in the odds of survival due to a more adequate source of food and nourishment.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...