How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

man: im hungry can i have a sandwich wife: go make one man: then what are you gonna do

My uncle said to me that life is like a box of chocolates But I'm lactose intolerant

A jellyfish walks into a bar, the bar doesnt appreciate him, so he retreats back to his jellyfish lands.

"Knock knock..." "come in"

What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

Knock-Knock Who's there? We are, now open the door! Wait im masturbating!!

Haha, I get it..

Knock Knock! F*ck off

whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

Why did the loser end up in hospital? Because he was smoking glue.

FOX News: Fair and balanced

Why did the submarine crash? Someone opened the window

What did the black man do when his Polish friend died of cancer? He fertilized his front lawn as it was beginning to burn due to overexposure of the sun.

Hi

What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

A wild bear walks into a bar, grabs a drink and looks at the man next to it. The man then wakes up from a dream and gets ready for work.

the top 6 dictators who have died this year Moammar Gadhafi Kim Jong IL Osama bin ladden Saddam Husein Steve jobs Internet Explorer

Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

Roses are Blue Violets are Red I'm not creative Roses are Blue

My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

Two muffins are cooling on a windowsill. One muffin says to the other "It sure is a beautiful day today." The other muffin says "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it slipped from his hand.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can walk wherever the hell they want. Leave them alone.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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