Q: Why is there never sun beaming at the castle? A: Because the castle is full of knights.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Houlocaust. What's worse than the Houlocaust? Nothing, the Haulocaust was one of the most horrible instances of inhumanity in recorded history.

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Do you play piano? No

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You're so retarded that people make fun of you and you laugh with them because you don't understand and just want some friends.

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Did you know? . You already know!

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Hey, I just met you And this is Crazy I have Amnesia I like trains.

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Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

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tomatoe tomato my toe is named tom

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What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

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Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

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What did the man with no arms say to the jewish man? I have no arms.

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How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

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Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

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Why didn't the Baby wake up? Because it was dead

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house?. No, Well neither has he...

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what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

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Roses are red Violets are blue and oranges are orange nothing rhymes with orange

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

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Q. How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Light bulbs don't exist

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roses are red violets r blue jump off a building no one likes u

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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What did the astronaunt say to the doctor? Hola!

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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