What goes up but never comes down? This dick

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2 + 2 = fish

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am staraiL so dont touch me!!!!!

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Three dogs start a club called the Holly Place Exclusive Dog Club. The Club Motto is, "You can't be in our club. Just us. Read the sign. It says "Exclusive". How is that confusing? Get away from here. Now."

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I can't hear you. I have carrots in my ears.

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can you touch your toes? no

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Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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why did the cow say "moo"? because he's a cow and that's what cows say.

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Why did the man and woman have sex? To have a good time, but the man's condom failed and they ended up with a deformed baby because they were brother and sister. Those are your parents. Enjoy

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What's 1 + 1? Fish. What's 2+2? Window. pie.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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What has hands but cannot feel? A sociopath; due to his or her mental health condition they are incapable of feeling true emotion.

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Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

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what is the differance between a toyata and a van full of dead babies I dont own a toyata

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

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Yo momma so old some said act ur age and she dies

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I was going to write a joke about Alzheimers ... but I completely forgot it.

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Which is the rarest animal in the North pole? The Polaroid.

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Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

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What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

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who has less of a soul then you? a ginger

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What did the doctor say to the pregnant mother? Your babies dead

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What is 1 inch long and eats everyone in it's way .... my pet fish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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