Wanna hear a joke? that disabled guy who wants to climb mount everest.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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roses are gray, violets are gray, Im a dog

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want to get screwed for four years? VOTE REFUGLYCAN!

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

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yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

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I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

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Why did the Chinese Arab buy blue paint? He already had red in his basement.

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Whats Funnier than the Holacaust? A: Nothing you asshole!

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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three black teenagers went to the cinema to watch twilight

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Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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What's worse than finding a worm in your pork? Finding half of a worm, because the worm you just ate is going to live in your stomach, breed, then come out your butt. Or the Apocalypse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

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What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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What's funnier than 24? NOTHING!!!

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Tommy got neutered.

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What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

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What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

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Roses Are Blue I Have A Gun And Ill Sout You!

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops