what do an elephant and a mouse have in common? nothing

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Did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off, how is he? Well you see, the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off...He's dead. I..um..he's straight up dead. I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell ya.

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Sidney was a man, but not just any man... He was a fishmonger.

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what do you call two indian men lying next to each other? i dont think there is a name for it but im sure you call them by there names.

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Doctor! Doctor! There is a fly in my soup! Moral: Huh?

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A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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Your momma is soooo poor... I don't know how she is so fat

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roses are red violets are pink your nanas in the cowfeild with a bottle of stink... not really shes long gone.

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What is the worst thing about a couple of white kids playing with a couple of black kids? There are no parks or recreation centers within walking distance from there houses.

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A teacher, a consturction worker, and an army general are on an airplane. The pilot tells them the plane has too much weight, and if they don't each drop one item then the plane will crash. Realizing one item each is obviously not enough weight to throw off, the teacher and the construction worker team up and throw the army genral off the plane. They land safely, and live the rest of their life haunted by their vile actions.

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Roses are red, violets are blue No they're not, violets are violet

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Two monkeys are sittin in a bathtub. The first monkey says to The second, "HEY! pass the soap." The second says to the The first monkey, "DUDE. thats not soap, its a typewriter!!!!"

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What is the best Anti-Joke ever? Your Mom. :(

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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Why did susie fall off the swing? Because an arrow penetrated her head.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can extrapolate from incomplete data

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I hate weddings! Old people always poke u and say "ur next" so I've decided to do the same to them... At Funerals

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batman has diarrhea

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He simply lost grip of the cone and it fell out of his hand

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What happend to the murderer who ate people? He was sent to jail for a number of years and now is having work done to stop him from eating people

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? An anchor

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Why Didn't The Teenager Bring His Report Card Home to His Parents? Because He Was Murdered By Thugs Walking Home From School.

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one time when i bought a sonic blast they gave me a regular? size spoon and i was like this is a huge inconvenience.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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