Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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What happened after the lawer jumped off the bridge? His family mourned his loss for years.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the crab blush? It didn't because crab's can't blush.

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What do you get when you put a pig in an oven? A dead pig.

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How do you make an Indian explode? Push the red button

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Why was Samuel L. Jackson so tired of those motherf***ing snakes on that motherf***ing plane? Because if snakes are loose on a plane, they might bite you.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Oh, I was just asking.

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roses are black violets are black I'm blind i need a dog.

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dude ur such a bon of a sitch

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What's fun and challenging? Writing an anti-joke.

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HOW DO YOU KILL A BLACK MAN? YOU DONT

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Knock Knock Who's There? Peyton Peyton who? Peyton Manning

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Me: Ask me if I'm an orange. You: Are you an orange? Me: No

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What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not?

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What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f******* n*****

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Where does Hemech take a shit? The toilet's ass

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

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Whats the difference between a falcon and a deer? both live in water, except for the falcon... oh, and the deer.

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What's black and blue, and read all over? The Merriam-Webster dictionary.

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What do the Wii, PS3, and Xbox 360 all have in common? None of them will get you laid.

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What do you call Mary in a wheelchair ... virgin mobile

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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