I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

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what do you call a kid named kid. kid

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How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

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What is funnier than one dead baby? Two dead Babies

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being raped What's worse than being Raped. Being Raped 2 times by a Giant Scorpion.

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Two Iranian men walk into a bar and order a Coke and a Lemonade. The Barman said take a seat and he'll bring them over.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? -Who's there? Not the girl.

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Why didn't the little asian kid go to his friends party? Because he wasnt invited.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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What did the plane say to the twin towers? Boom

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shit on her face

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How do you make a person who wins the lottery sad? You threaten to kill his family.

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Why was the little boy nervous about playing with the little girl? Because she had gonorrhea.

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What is the worst thing about a couple of white kids playing with a couple of black kids? There are no parks or recreation centers within walking distance from there houses.

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Q: What has the exact same colors as the gay flag but are sometimes hilarious? A: Clowns.

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Why did Timmy stay home on the day of the big test at the public school? He was homeschooled

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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what happens when you put nina and harry in the same room. Nina will die instantly of shock

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Roses are red, pink, white or yellow. Stop stereotyping my arrogant fellow.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? It didn't. Anyone who would believe that is a complete moron.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

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Why was the baker rich? Because he had a lot of money

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why did Jen fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock who's there not Jen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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