How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here." The other muffin doesn't say anything because it is a muffin.

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What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

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Knock knock -Who's there? Orange -I don't get it.

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped in a van

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I was gonna make a joke about a my dick... Racecar

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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You got yourself a mole, I suggest you restrict all access to any and everyone that could possibly go under aliases such as: The Wiz. Azure. Dungeon Lord. Dice. Wizard, and anything similar, he is most likely a computer geek which does not necessarily look like one.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor and the doctor said "There is no cure for the monkeys in your head"

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Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

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whats worse than a dog biting you? two dogs biting you whats worse than that? the Holocaust whats worse than that three dog bites and one of them happens to have rabies

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Yo momma's so fat that when she died of congestive heart failure, your family had to pay extra for a larger coffin to bury her in.

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When's the worst time to use skin moisturizer? When you're a burn victim.

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Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?!, who's there?!!!, ya fucking asshole!!!, and quit knockin on my door!, my windows are fine!"

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Want to know how the dyslexic man with no left arm and no left leg? All left

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Women. One of the genders a human can be.

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A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

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What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

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George Lopez never said anything funny in his life.

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What happens when your school teacher gives you homework over the break? You give your teacher homework too!

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Q: When there's something strange In your neighbourhood, Who you gonna call? A: The Local Authorities!

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Why did the baby crawl onto the road? because a sick bastard put a bottle of milk there knowing that a bus would be going through that route soon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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