A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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What did the fridge say to the watermelon? Nothing.

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Random link time! http://www.booksie.com/thrillers/novel/declan_mckimm/pure-evil

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What's worse than having your t.v. stolen by a Mexican? Getting raped with a chainsaw.

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Man: Doctor, everything I touch hurts. Doctor: Okay. Let's test it out by first touching your leg. Man: It hurts. Doctor: What about your arm? Man: It hurts as much. Doctor: What about your back? Man: It still hurts. Doctor: I see......your fingers are broken.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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What did Santa say to the prostitute? "Merry Christmas!"

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Through him a survival buoy

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You know what happens when you assume? You make a judgment based on incomplete information.

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What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

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A blonde goes in an electronic store. She buys a TV and leaves.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot. You racist.

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What's black, white, black, white, black, white, and red? A horse with it's heard chopped off.

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How do you piss off a teacher? Accuse them of being a pedophile

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead

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why was the kid sitting in a wooden chair? Because at the early age of four he was diagnosed with cancer and genital warts!

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why was the blonde confused? because she was born with a low IQ making her mentally retarded.

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Knock Knock Come in! :)

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why is my wife crying? because she doesn't like tomatoes

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit? A black man is a life form, more specifically a homosapian, while the bucket, as well as the shit, is an inanimate object.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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