what did john boner say to the hor that was jewing his laundry want to sex my motherss twat?

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

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What's red and blue and goes 105 MPH? A red and blue car.

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How types of people are there? One, we are the only homo sapiens.

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Eeny meeny miny moe, Catch a piglet by its toe, If it squeals let it go, Or you'll be arrested for animal abuse and receive a heavy fine.

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What's the difference between Jordan and Time? Time passes!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because early that morning she had found out that her husband had left her for another chicken. She became depressed and soon was suicidal so she started looking for an option out of her pain. So she tried to cross the road... She never made it.

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What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

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What do you call a Mexican who likes to eat burritos? A Mexican

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever.

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Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

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What did the snowman put on his head? Nothing; snowmen are inanimate.

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Knock knock Whos there Your Ma Your Ma who Your ma's in jail!!!

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A Fat person walks out of mcDonalds

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When he was a little boy, what was Chaz Bono's favorite Cher song? Chaz Bono was never a little boy, he was a girl.

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We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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The world blows up and everyone except for one man and his house make it out alive "Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Me" "Me who?" "Ummmm, its me, duh" It turns out the man was very bored and decided to go knock on his own door and tell knock knock jokes

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops