Knock Knock Whose there? The pizza you ordered That's weird, the Pizza I ordered shouldn't be able to talk

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What do you call an iphone in a puddle? Broken

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How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

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i put a oie in the oven, it baked

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Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

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Why was the guy stupid? 'Cause he was!

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who is not good looking? mon morello

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What do you call a man floating in a pool with his arms chopped off? A murder victim.

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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whats worse than 10 babies in a blender 1 baby in 10 blenders

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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Yo mama so stupid she was trying to put her M&M's in alphabetical order

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A Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Jew says, "I'll have a whiskey straight." The Catholic says, "I'll have a vodka tonic." The Muslim says, "I can't drink it's against my religion and I really shouldn't be here."

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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Adam Thomas is homosexual

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Roses are red, violets are blue, so is my face, I'm constipated

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What is the difference between a seal and an armadillo? They are both aquatic animals, except for the armadillo.

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A: Knock, knock. A: Knock, knock! A: Um ... Knock, knock! B: Sorry, I didn't want to answer the door.

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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Have you heard the one of the two headed man an the horse? Neither have I

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a giraffe walks into a bakery, "can I have 101 brown loafs please?" the baker answers: "hmm I've got only 100 loafs is that ok too?" the giraffe says: "why the hell would I need a 100 loafs?!"

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Why did the chicken cross the street? K

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I fantasize about having sex with a moose

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What did the Police Officer do after he made a positive identification of a Prostitute? He proceeded to pay her in cash for sexual favors because prostitution is legal in the state of Nevada

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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