Billy Mays and Michael Jackson are up in Heaven, because they died recently.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the Europeans colonise Africa Because they couldn't do it themselves

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A: My dog has no nose. B: How does it smell? A: Terrible.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What starts with Pu and ends with Y, And homosexuals tend not to like them. "Pushy" People.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

whats the fastest way to be murdered tell your wife your cheating on her

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Steve Mullings isn't on drugs

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did Valerie get for her birthday? Nothing. Because no one loves her

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's black, white & red all over? A cow in a slaughter house.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: Why is 8 afraid of 9? A:Because 9 killed 8's family

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A young boy walks into a catholic church, he attends mass, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

thumb_up thumb_down -18

how many drunk drivers does it take to drive home one and only one, if more than one drunk driver tried to drive home at the same time in the same car they would surely crash and not make it home.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: What was the last thing to enter the bug's mind as it flew into the windshield? A: His back legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your mom's so dumb she has cancer...... oh wait that's racist

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops