Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

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If youre African, why are you white?

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Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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What do you call a gay mexican on welfare? poor

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Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

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A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips violently.

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What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

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A blindman walks into a bar... then a chair, then a pole

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A jew a muslim and a catholic walk into a doctors office. The doctor is arrested for raping a child and his office closes. The Jew and Muslim find another doctor andthe Catholic dies because he had aids

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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Why can't Helen Keller have sex? She is dead

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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Why did the boy loose his hat Because he got hit by a plane

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 1: Who's there Person 1: me me you who you me you who me you no me (say super dooper quickly)

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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