What a wonderful life!!! *gunshot*

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why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

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Two guys walk into a bar, and they ordered two drinks. Then the bartender said, "Two dollars, please." - Brandie PANG

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A White, a Mexican, and a Chinese guy all take a boat to go exploring.

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Angus is so Scottish he wears a kilt when it is socially appropriate.

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How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

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Girl look at that body, girl look at that body, I got passion in my pants... Actually I lied, I got a penis and testicles in my pants, but I'm afraid to show it because people might think it's small, sorry

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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a man walks into a bar, it hurt.

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What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

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A guy walks up to his boy and tells him, "Hey, if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind." The boy says, "Who are you? Your not my father."

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A Black man and a Hispanic man were sitting in the back seat of a car. Who was driving? Their Asian friend who offered to take them to get lunch.

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Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

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Your mama's so hairy, the only language she knows is wookie.

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What's grey and can't swim? A Castle

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Q: Why was the black man good at basketball? A: because he practiced

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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What worse than being shot? Waking up and finding a penis in your mouth.

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Whats fat yellow and diabetic Brett lai lan

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Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

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When life gives you lemons, you make grape juice and let the world wonder how you made it.

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Knock knock whos there? Jake jake who? jake from state farm, and i'd like to tell you about our insurance company

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Knock Knock Who's There Seventeen Thirty Eight I'm like hey what's up hello Seen yo pretty ass soon as you came in that door I just wanna chill, got a sack for us to roll Married to the money, introduced her to my stove Showed her how to whip it, now she remixin' for low She my trap queen, let her hit the bando We be countin' up, watch how far them bands go We just set a goal, talkin' matchin' Lambos Got 56 a gram, prob' a 100 grams though Man, I swear I love her how she work the damn pole Hit the strip club, we be letting bands go Everybody hating, we just call them fans though In love with the money, I ain't never letting go And I get high with my baby (baby) I just left the mall, I'm getting fly with my baby, yeah

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why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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