Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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Roses are red, Violets are too. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing infliction.

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What did Hitler say to Obama Nothing because Hitler is dead.

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What do you get when you take a bag of chips and divide it by 5? a Nike store worker's meal

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Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day... set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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A: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: I got NoEyeDeer!!!

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Two men walked into a bar. I'm surprised the second man did not duck out of the way.

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National security?

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why did the woman call the police? because there was a murderer pointing a gun at her at her son.

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

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How will the world end? That information is unknown

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

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A black man, a small child, and a priest were all standing in line. They were all checking in the hospital after being in a 3 car pileup

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What happened to the convict on death row? He died

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Whats gay, has a nice ass, and can such a mad dick? Everyone at LNS, including me, Glenn. Just kidding I like bitches.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Why did Susie drown? Because she fell in a puddle. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops