What does a dyslexic person do on sundays? Goes to church to pray to Dog

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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give me a thumbs up

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why did the boy stay home from school? it was saturday

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Chuck Norris can speak Japanese. Believe it or not he is actually multilingual, he speaks Spanish and French as well.

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whats worse than watching your house burn to the ground? Sarah Palin becoming president

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mom theres a naked old man outside my window and he stole dads ladder.

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What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

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How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

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What do you call an Arab driving a Plane? A Pilot.

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Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

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My love life

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

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What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

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An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

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ur left leg is cristmas nd ur right leg is thanks giving can i vist

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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a farmer asked me "were is my pig?" and I said ' I got hungry" :()

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Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

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Why did the cook put rubber bands in the spaghetti Because he was an asshole

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Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

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What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

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why did the US nuke japan besause sending chuck norris would be to cruel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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